The White Blank Pages Of My Mind
by Sabira Wolf
Summary: Katniss returns to District 12 after Mockingjay and uncovers some secrets about Panem, finding out that her fight may not be over yet. Gale's return and Peeta's emotions spark conflict, but is there a white knight on this horizon? Read and find out!
1. Chapter 1

**So, this is my second fan fiction, and I've read the Hunger Games and was instantly addicted, to give you a hint of what my stories about, my favourite characters Gale. I'm British, so if you want a little English love read and see how our minds aren't so different from anyone else's. And, please if you're American, do not read this in what you think is an English Accent, because we sound nothing like you think we do! Enjoy! PS I love THG more than anything in the world right now, sad, I know…**

Sitting in the sitting room my world bustled around me, I still felt lost without Prim. Haymitch had finally ditched the drink in an effort to support me and was constantly flitting between mine, his and Peeta's house. My mother had not given up on the world yet and had opened her own medical practice, free of charge, which was situated in the far end of the house, patients didn't pass through the main house but mum was always running in and out for materials or liquids. Peeta stayed in his house mostly, we still hadn't gotten over the bump in his mind, and I've decided to leave him to it. I can't deal with losing another person from my life so soon. Gale…I've lost my sister and my best friend. He's in some other district now, working with someone else, hunting on his own, sleeping in someone else's bed. It's been four days since I found out about Gales involvement in the bomb which killed Prim, but I cannot believe that Gale knew that the bomb would be dropped on those children and on Prim, he would have warned me when I was running for Prim. Gale may be angry, but he isn't cruel. He wouldn't kill all those innocent children, even if they were that of the Capitols.

I don't need to worry about that anymore anyway, the Capitol is dead, and so are the Hunger Games.

"Katniss, honey, you've been sat in that armchair since I came downstairs this morning" my mum said with concern deep in her eyes "I know things are difficult, but you'd feel better if you moved around, you know, distracted yourself…"

I mentally sighed, and pulled myself up from the armchair, doing nothing to ignore the hollow feeling deep in my chest. I didn't need Peeta, I needed Prim or Gale. I need the people who have been in my lives completely. Don't get me wrong, I need Peeta, I couldn't leave him behind if I went anywhere, but we're safe now, and he can be safe without us pretending to be in love. We can face reality, and the reality is that I love Gale, and I miss him more than anything in the world.

"I'm sorry mum, have we got meat for tonight?" she shook her head silently "I'll go hunting then, take my mind off things."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" I could see her remembering the last time I tried to go hunting two days ago, I didn't come home. Haymitch and Peeta had to come looking for me, finding me sat on the rock where Gale first kissed me. I was just sat there, a vacant look in my eyes, didn't even flinch when I heard them approaching, just continued to stare out onto the horizon. But when they'd tried to move me that was a different case, I had kicked and screamed and yelled and fought my way out of their arms, only to take off up the nearest tree leaving them useless.

"Yes I'm sure, I have to face the fact they're gone some time don't i."

She nodded her head wearily, not sure whether I was about to break.

I strode over to the cupboard and pulled out my father's hunting jacket, wrapping it around myself, holding me together with its binding.

The wind was blowing hard and cold when I stepped outside and I flinched at the intensity of the icy snow hitting my face. It is winter and District 12 has been hit harder than any other district, I've heard. I crunched along through the Victor's Village in my black snow boots and on towards the Seam. The sight of the forest made me pick up my walk into a light jog, my bow secured tightly over my body. As I entered the forest the wind swirled the snow around me, I pulled by coat up around my face shielding myself from the wind. I was crazy, there was no way I'd find anything in this weather. I was well into the forest at the point where I decided it was useless trying, I wheeled around to go back when I heard it.

"Catnip…"

It was just a whisper; the wind had carried it to my ears. No, the wind had made the noise, my imagination that's all.

"Katniss..." there it was again, I felt my heart start to beat faster, if the wind would only be quieter then I would be able to hear where it came from. "Katniss, help me."

That's when I turned to see a dark figure towering over me. A gloved hand covered my mouth as I attempted a scream, and a needle slid into my arm.

Then the world went black.


	2. Chapter 2

**Oh my gosh, thank you so much for the reviews, really made me want to carry on! And I still don't talk like the Queen, get it in your head! Just realised I started my first chapter 'sitting in the sitting room' good one…**

I can smell smoke, there's smoke around me. I'm running for the Seam but the forest is in my way. I can hear the screams of children. I trip and look up to Cato leering over me with wild dog eyes. He places my hand on a rock and slams his knife down over my fingers.

My eyes snapped open.

I look around and realise I'm in the smoke house next to the lake, the place I took Gale. I search the stone hut, hoping to find a trace of my captor, but all I see is the kindled fire and the smoke rising around and up through the chimney.

'Katniss…'

That was Gale's voice. I whipped my head around, and there he was, as beautiful as ever, standing in the doorway. He looked frightened. I dove to my feet. There's a reason for his return, and it's not to see me.

'What's happened?' I said strongly 'What's wrong?'

He looked at me confused but weary. 'Nothing's wrong Katniss,' he stressed 'I've come home.'

I stood there staring blankly. Had I heard him right?

This was the exact moment I had been waiting for since I arrived home, the moment I had imagined in my head in a billion ways. Being drugged and kidnapped were not one of the imagined ways of reunion though. That's when the anger overflowed.

'Are you crazy?' I screamed as I dived into the air and brought my fist down on the side of his face.

Then we rolled around on the floor for approximately seven minutes before he gained the advantage and straddled my arms to my body and sat on me.

'Do you think I haven't thought you'd hate me?' he yelled 'I have gone over this moment a million times in my head Katniss but I cannot deal with the prospect of never seeing you again. I did design the bomb, but I had no involvement at all on when the test run was to be! Now calm down!'

I slumped in defeat; I couldn't take more fighting, not after losing so many people. If I'm honest I came out on this hunt with a half heart anyway. What was the point in fighting anymore? Gale stood up and offered me a hand. I took it gratefully and he pulled me quickly into a tight embrace which I cherished. I held him as close as I could, unwilling to let go, and he did the same.

'Jesus, I've missed you so much.' He whispered into my hair, planting a light kiss there.

I nodded my head 'I've missed you too; I thought I'd lost you…'

He put me at arm's length and told me seriously 'I will never leave you Catnip.'

I wiped the tears off my cheeks that had slipped out unnoticed and nodded my head with a weak smile. Then I laughed.

'Was there really a chance to drug me?'

'Drug you? I didn't drug you. I found you in there' he pointed to the more concentrated area of the forest 'slumped against a tree.'

We stared at each other. I ripped up my tunic sleeve. There it was, a pink circle the size of a pin end, but it was there.

'Someone stabbed a needle in me.'

'I swear that's all I know Catnip,' he looked into my eyes, trying to convey uttermost honesty.

I nodded and looked out of the glass free window wearily. We needed to get home, it was getting dark. The sun wasn't reaching most of the forest floor now, and the shade was increasing. The blizzard had stopped and the last of the remaining sun was creating a bright glow across the snow.

'Come on,' I motioned 'Let's go home, you're mum will want to see you.'

'I can't. I can't face them right now, it's my fault that Prim's dead, if I hadn't created that stupid bomb…'

I cut him off 'Hey, hey,' I took his face in my hands and forced him to look at me 'Listen to me Gale, you're my best friend, I know for a fact that you had nothing to do with Prims death. So what you had a part in the creation of the bomb. It was just another one of her ways of getting us all under her power, she was as bad as Snow, only at least he admitted it.'

'I'm sorry I've been such a rubbish best friend.' He said sadly.

I sighed 'Yeah, well I needed you here Gale, I didn't just lose my sister, I lost you too and that made the pain worse. Until now, the hollow feeling I've had in my chest has stopped me from functioning right. I don't know what's wrong with me.' I took his hand 'In my head I had already chosen you Gale, I just needed some time to figure it out.'

'Well I'm here now,' he said and started to draw me closer, I pulled away.

'Yes, after you've been in the arms of some other District woman,' I said sadly.

I strode off into the snow, turning round to see him watching me sadly.

'Are you coming home Gale? You can hide out at my house for a while if you really want?'

He just shook his head at my rash behaviour and strolled after me.

And off into the depths of the forest we went before emerging at the Seam with three rabbit and a pheasant.


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay, so I know you may be confused right now! But, it's all going to come out, the other women, and the kidnapping, you'll just have to wait and see because I don't plan on it being too soon, I have other things planed. Hope you're all enjoying my story, so happy that I've got back into this, may even complete my other story on Night World after a long delay. Thanks everyone!**

The streets of the Seam were empty, but people still drew back their curtains to see who is was that was passing, we moved as quietly as possible but the people of the Seam had a sixth sense, probably due to the fact that their houses would be a most likely target for the Peacekeepers. So, with our hoods pulled up around our faces and our tunics covering our mouths, we quickly paced to my old house, I could feel the pressure, if Gale was discovered now, there was no way that word wouldn't travel to his mother before dawn, and all over District 12.

I opened the door silently and placed the game on the wooden bench next to the door. Gale slid in behind me and closed the door.

'We'll have to be careful,' Gale said 'I could see Old Mrs Donnarhy being a peeping pervert out of that window at us.' He laughed.

I smiled, but he could see it hadn't reached my eyes.

'Why are you really back Gale?' he knew that this wasn't the time for joking.

He took a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair. 'Honestly?' I nodded 'Because I love you Katniss. And no matter how hard I tried to forget about you I couldn't.'

'You've been with other women?'

'Yes.'

I put my head down, trying to hide the tears that had welled up in my eyes.

'But only because I was so certain that you hated me, they were a distraction. All I did was imagine they were you and think about how you wouldn't do what they did or how you'd do something better.' He took my face in his hands and I pulled away 'Katniss, please.' He almost begged.

At this moment I looked at him, his face was showing pain, and Gale didn't show pain.

'I don't know Gale, I love you too but surely you came home for your family?'

'Of course I came home for my family; I haven't seen them in months. But I haven't seen you in almost a year.' He shook his head 'I can't live without you Katniss, I've tried but I can't.'

I couldn't let him feel the pain that I've felt for so long. I couldn't be selfish. If him being with me meant that if something happened he'd be heartbroken…how could I be so selfish?

'I can't be with you Gale.' I said harshly.

He looked surprised; he obviously hadn't been through the option of rejection.

'I'm with Peeta now,' this was a complete lie and I knew that it was wrong to use Peeta like this, but I couldn't face Gale getting hurt, and I hurt people, it's what I do best. I've killed so many people and they come back to visit me in my dreams, Cato leaning over me with his knife, their families distraught on the victory tour. How could I think that I should have a happy life when I've destroyed so many others? 'I couldn't wait forever either; I thought you weren't coming home.'

He nodded 'I can't say I was expecting this, but I've been foolish not to. You know that I'll always love you, and I'll be waiting for the day that he makes a mistake.'

I shook my head 'Peeta doesn't make mistakes Gale, surely you've learnt that by now.'

'So, he's not out to kill you anymore?'

That hurt, and Gale knew it. This relationship with Peeta may be made up, but I still have feeling s for him, and bringing up the fact he thinks I'm a heartless monster doesn't help when I'm trying to pretend he loves me.

'Why don't we go and see him? Tell him I'm back and he has competition?' he's suspicious, how the hell is he suspicious? I've been as convincing as I can!

'Okay.' Okay so the bluff may not have been a good idea, but it might postpone it for a while. 'but not tonight, I'm tired Gale and I need to go home to my mum, I trust you'll be able to look after yourself?'

He laughed a bitter laugh 'Of course I will Katniss, you know that.'

I fear that I may have brought a bad side out of Gale, I don't fear for myself, but for Peeta. When I arrive at the Victors Village, I don't go through my front door. I go through Peeta's.


	4. Chapter 4

**So, I've had a complaint about my use of ' instead of " when writing speech, in all honesty it's a major effort to use " have to press the shift key and what not, so just deal with it! I means the same thing in terms of quotation and if you want the story to keep on coming then it will be a lot quicker doing ' so I cannot be bothered to change it. I'm English, I'm lazy. FINE I'LL USE "**

I didn't knock on Peeta's door, just barged in…rather loudly. So loudly in fact that Peeta himself came running out from the living room and into the hallway. He stopped short when he realised it was me.

"What do _you _want?" I tried to ignore the disgust in his voice.

Yes. It was evident that he still hated me and this was clearly a huge mistake, but I went with my original plan anyway, well as original a plan can be that has been made up in the ten minute walk from the Seam to here.

I took a deep breath "I have a proposition for you."

He raised one eyebrow curiously "A proposition?"

"Yes. I propose that if you help me do something I will never make you suffer my presence again."

"I'm up for that, it would be nice to not want to throttle you, since that mostly only happens when you're in my presence. Quite distracting actually…"

It was a struggle for him not to scowl at me now, Jesus, what have I got myself into?

"I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend!" I sort of screamed it out before adding a hasty "Again."

I knew I was in for it, he was staring at me in disbelief.

"Are you actually out of your mind?" he screeched "Do you think that for one second I could pretend to be you're fucking boyfriend?"

I flinched at the sound of Peeta swearing.

"I know how it sounds okay, I know how you must be feeling right now, but I never did all those things you think I did, I'm not a murderer Peeta! The Capitol planted those thoughts into your head!" I tried to calm down "It's not for me anyway. It's for Gale, we need to get him to leave District 12."

"Woah, woah, woah, wait. Gale's back?" I nodded "Why would I want to help Gale? He wanted to kill me when we were in the Capitol."

"Forget it Peeta, I was stupid to think that it was fair to even ask this of you."

I turned and began towards the door.

"No wait. Tell me what this is about." He was willing to listen and that's all I needed.

"Gale's come home, he found me in the woods today. He's come back for _me _Peeta, me over his family. He kept telling me he loved me and that he couldn't live without me. He's been with other women whilst he's been in the other districts and that hurts you know."

"Bastard…" Peeta muttered under his breath.

I frowned at him, his hatred for Gale was still apparent.

"But I've killed people Peeta, and I've ruined people's lives. It may have been under the pressures of the games, but it still counts. And how can I be happy when I've destroyed so many others happiness? It just doesn't seem right. I know I'll hurt Gale. I hurt everyone. But I can tell he's not going to give up." I was almost crying with the intensity of what I was saying.

Peeta just looked at me sadly and said something that I really didn't want to hear.

"I'm not helping you Katniss. You're being ridiculous. Of course you're not going to hurt Gale."

"But, remember that time he said to me, that you got all my attention, and he only ever got it when he was hurt? Well that's true; I can't help loving you both for entirely different reasons!" Shit. I'd just told Peeta I loved him, again. Am I even thinking straight?

"Are you serious right now? You're not even thinking about what you're saying." Then he stopped and said calmly, "When was the last time you had a proper drink Katniss Everdeen?"

He took my hand wearily and pulled me into the living room and forced me to sit down in the most comfortable chair. Ridding me of my bow and hunting jacket.

"Take your boots off, come on, and get comfy."

I smiled at his effort to be hospitable, and did as I was told. He went into the kitchen and I heard the clinking of pots. He came out with two pot cups of what was filled half way with scotch whiskey. He handed me a pot and took a seat opposite me. I took a big gulp of the brown liquid, didn't taste amazing, but left my insides feeling warm and my head light, that coupled with the roaring fire made me want to fall asleep.

"Come on, while the urge to kill you is being minimized by the scotch, allow me to be your councillor. What are you thinking right now?" he smiled kindly. I didn't know the extremities of what Peeta had been put through in the Capitol, and I was furious that they hadn't rescued him from the arena when they had rescued me. But I couldn't help wondering whether the old Peeta would ever be back.

"I'm thinking; what did they do to you in the Capitol which made you change how you feel about me so much? You used to love me, and now it's all you can do not to just end my life. Please can we play true or not true?"

"They hurt me Katniss, made me feel pain." He said sadly, but then smiled "Yes, I like that game."

"You hate me." I said.

"No…" he thought of his words "I don't hate you, I feel extreme emotions for you, emotions which switch like a Schizophrenics. One moment I will think that you're the most amazing thing on this Earth, then the next you'll say something which sets off a fire inside me which is hard to control, I think that's the Capitols switch."

I nodded, showing that I understood and took another sip of scotch.

It was his turn to ask the question.

"You love Gale?"

"Yes, I love him so much it hurts." Then I stopped but he motioned for me to carry on "When my sister died, I felt like part of me had been ripped out, like I had a big gaping gap in my heart, and as the months went on without Gale, the hole grew. I felt like I hadn't only lost my sister but my best friend too. Gale understands me better than anyone else could."

"I used to before and after school together. I used to feel jealous that he could talk to you so easily and I couldn't even face saying one word." He almost laughed "All the girls were jealous of you. They knew they had nothing on you in Gale's eyes and the same for the boys. You and Gale were always the perfect ones, you were from the Seam and everyone knew you traded in the Hob together. You were feared but respected, the reason you didn't have any friends apart from Gale was because you scared everyone off. Everyone wanted to be your friend though. But you'd sit at that table at lunch on your own and you used to try and see Gale through the window of one of his classes. It was you and him, and him and you. No one else was invited or wanted."

"That's not true! I talked to people…sometimes. And I did not look for him in the classes!" Peeta laughed, showing that he knew he was right.

"I know that we had a connection in the arena Katniss, but you and Gale have been together for half of your lives. You're his yin and yen and all that malarkey." He chuckled.

I'd finished my scotch and it was time for me to leave. I didn't want to ruin what me and Peeta had shared this evening with one of his outbursts, we were getting along. I stood up and put on my boots.

"Thank you Peeta, you've made me realise I'm a fool." He smiled "I've enjoyed your company very much."

"As have I actually, haven't even wanted to cut your head off for the past twenty minutes." 

"That sounds promising!"

And with that I embraced him lightly, at first he was stiff and rigid, but then he relaxed and put his arms around me too. I let go of him and walked out of the front door and crunched across the court on the snow. As I reached my door, I turned to see him still watching me, making sure I made it across the court, his caring side had been there for me tonight, and I owed him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Wahooooo! 5****th**** chapter here! And they're reeling out like no other! Know this one's short but I'm actually so proud for posting every night. I remember about a year ago I was obsessed with this website, lived and breathed it and it used to annoy me so much when people took forever to post, so here goes…**

My eyes snapped open, and I glanced around my dark bedroom. I could hear someone coming up the stairs, someone that wasn't used to them as they clumped in all the wrong places and didn't skip the creaky step. I heard them reach the top of the stairs, then, silence.

I listened, straining my ears so hard that I could hear my own heartbeat.

Then my door swung open and someone unmistakable was standing there squinting into the darkness.

"Catnip?"

Gale. He couldn't stay in his place for one second, always breaking the rules. Good thing that my senses had been heightened due to the pressures of the games, otherwise he wouldn't have got his reply in the form of my pillow flying into his face.

"Knew it was this room."

He entered the room and started to make his way over to my bed.

"What are you doing here Gale?" I whispered "Why aren't you at the Seam?"

He laughed and sauntered over silently but hilariously.

"Jus' couldn' keep away from you baby," then he burst out laughing.

"Shhhhh! They'll hear you!"

He flopped down onto my stomach and I let out a big huff of air as he knocked the wind out of me, then he proceeded to tickle my tummy.

"Gale, Gale! Gale! Stop it! Oh my God! Hahahahahahahaha!" this was all said in a hushed but hysteric volume.

He eventually stopped and I had tears of laughter streaming down my face. He rested his head on my shoulder and I stroked his hair gently.

"Couldn't stay away?"

"I had to see you, make sure you hadn't disappeared," he whispered against my skin.

I sniffed the air, and then cringed.

"Gale…"

"Yeah?"

"You smell like shit."

…

Gale emerged from his quiet shower in my ensuite bathroom in only a towel, rubbing his hair dry with another one. I felt myself melt at how gorgeous he looked.

"What?" he'd stopped, looking at me stare at him.

I shook my head and grinned, then I got up off my bed and kissed him right there and then. I lingered my lips on his for just a second before pulling away and returning to my bed, hiding my blushing cheeks beneath the covers.

I heard him drop the towel and begin rustling through my wardrobe for something to wear. I was just in the process of freeing my eyes from the cover when he said.

"Hey! No peeking…"

I pulled the covers back up again.

"Okay, budge up."

I shuffled up in my single bed and made room for Gale. He wrapped his arms around me and I put my head on his chest.

"I've missed you Gale." I looked up at him through my eyelashes.

He tightened his arms around me "I've missed you too Catnip, so much." Then he laughed

"So, decided you can live with me know?"

"What do you mean?" I lied.

"You know what I mean! I know full well you were lying about being with Peeta, I know you like the back of my hand. Can't fool me Katniss Everdeen." Then he smiled "Stop kidding yourself, you can't protect me from you, I don't want to be protected."

I knew he hadn't believed me, and I was ready after these 7 hours of sleep and my talk with Peeta, I was ready to give me and Gale a shot.

"I love you," it was almost a whisper.


	6. Chapter 6

**Continuing!**

I woke up on my side with Gale pressed against every inch of my back, he was spooning me. For a moment I wanted to wriggle out of his grasp, but I then I thought 'wait a second, we may just be an item now, get used to it.' So I stayed where I was and enjoyed the warmth of Gale against my back, that was until I noticed something hard in my lower back. I jumped out of bed like a rocket at take-off.

"Jesus Gale!" I screeched.

He opened his eyes then sat up quickly, then he groaned in pain as the light momentarily blinded him and flopped back onto the pillow. Then he realised what I was screeching at.

"Jesus Katniss" he mimicked "What do you expect? It's the morning! God, you're acting like you've never even seen one before."

I blushed and turned to my wardrobe and rummaged for far too long trying to find some clothes, whilst really waiting for the redness in my cheeks to fade.

He sat up in bed.

"You haven't have you?"

"Haven't what?"

"Ever been with someone in that way…" he was staring at me in amazement.

I stuffed my dirty clothes off the floor into my wash basket.

"As a matter of fact I haven't." his mouth dropped "Close your mouth."

"I'm sorry, but it's just…have you looked in a mirror?" then he stood up and walked over to me, bare chest on display, stared a bit…unconsciously. "Sorry, I just presumed you had…even before the Hunger Games, I mean we didn't exactly talk about this stuff…"

I looked at him in amazement "When had you ever seen me with anyone other than you or heard me talk about another boy before the Hunger Games? And surely you realised that mine and Peeta's relationship was a load of baloney.

He nodded "Good point."

"But, I definitely know that you have…"

"Catnip, don't be like that…I'm nineteen for Christ sake, of course I'm going to have had sex."

"How many times?" I knew I was pushing it.

He sighed "I don't know…"

"Uncountable…bet they were all disgusting."

He laughed and put his arms around my waste "In comparison to you, yes they were." Then he leaned down and gently kissed forehead.

I strolled into the kitchen to find my mum making a cooked breakfast, I inhaled the scrumptious smell of fried bacon and sighed, it was heavenly, just what I needed.

"Good morning Katniss," she said cheerily. She'd had her happy head on ever since we got home, trying to cherish the life Prim had rather than dwell on the fact she wasn't here anymore. "May I ask what on earth you were doing last night, you made quite a racket."

That was the moment that Gale trailed in behind me, rubbing the back of his head and looking rather awkward.

"Gale?" there was a pause in her speech, I stood there, anticipating which way her emotions may go. "I'm so glad you're home and well," she strode across the kitchen and embraced him hard, then she held him at arm's length "You know that Katniss has been in quite a state because of your absence," she turned and made her way back to the stove "So I'd appreciate it if you didn't leave her again…"

"Mum!" I felt myself turning red.

She turned and looked at me and then Gale "Don't mum me, you heard what I said Gale, otherwise our next reunion might not be as pleasant." Then she smiled.

I was about to die of embarrassment, but Gale was absorbing her words like a sponge.

"Of course Mrs Everdeen, I regret not coming back sooner; I've missed her more than anything else on this planet while I've been away. But I'm back and I'm not leaving any time soon, and if I do leave, I'm sure that Katniss will be joining me." Then he reached over and took my hand in his.

My cheeks were flaming…again.

My mum eyed our hands then grinned "It's about time you know…" I looked at her in amazement "I've been waiting for this to happen ever since you met, but you were only best friends…everyone could see that you were more than that. Took your time realising."

I laughed and plonked myself down on a chair; Gale took the seat next to me.

"Now…do you both want bacon and egg or do you prefer something else? Ahh, that reminds me, I sent Peeta to get some bread…where is he?" she peered out of the window just as the front door slammed and just as me and Gale looked at each other in horror.

Peeta breezed into the kitchen ruffling snow out of his hair.

"Phew! Pretty nasty out there." Then he smiled at Gale and I "Hello Gale, nice to see you back here."

Gale had rose from his seat and extended and arm as a gesture of a polite handshake, which Peeta took.

"Nice you see you're well Peeta, Mrs Everdeen's been looking after you."

He chuckled, then mum cut in.

"He's been the one looking after us! And poor Haymitch couldn't have survived the past months without Peeta."

Gale smiled and returned to his seat. Peeta took the one opposite me. He gave me a look questioning me whether I had told Gale or not, I nodded shortly. Then he did an amazing thing, he smiled, a really beautiful smile, an old Peeta smile.

I couldn't help thinking back to the time when he had told me that if he was going to die he wanted to die himself. It was a sign for me that the old Peeta could be restored. And I was going to make it my extreme duty to make sure he was.

Breakfast was set and mum took the seat opposite Gale.

"So, it was you having a shower and three AM this morning was it Gale?"

"Yes it was, sorry about that," he laughed "Didn't smell too good according to Catnip!" he ruffled my hair and I scowled jokingly.

"Well, I'm glad you're home, of course the very first place you must go after breakfast is to your house to see your mother," Gale tried to interrupt "No buts. You're mother needs to know that you're safe. Take it from me; I've had a daughter in the arena."

After wolfing down a hearty portion of bacon and egg, Gale stepped out of the front door to go and see his family, and I went to Haymitch's house with Peeta, planning to discuss the events in the woods.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey everyone, hope you're enjoying the story, would appreciate it if you reviewed so I could improve, thank you.**

Haymitch was up and running when Peeta and I arrived, I had the feeling that Peeta had already called him with knowledge I might be paying a visit. The house was clean for once, it seemed that Haymitch had been busying himself with housework in the absence of alcohol; this gave me a sense of relief that hopefully I wouldn't have to deal with a drunk and useless Haymitch again. He'd set out a jug of orange cordial on the table with three glasses sat gently next to it.

"Katniss, Peeta." He said nodding his head sincerely.

"Skip the formalities Haymitch, we both know you're a softy," then I turned to a more serious note "Something happened to me yesterday, and I know that you need to know if I have any chance of figuring it out."

He pulled out a chair for me and I sat, Peeta took the chair next to me while Haymitch poured three drinks, he then sat opposite Peeta on the simple wooden table.

"Tell me," he spoke.

"Yesterday, I went into the woods to hunt. It was a ridiculous idea as the blizzard was raging and there was no way that I'd catch anything in those conditions, but there was something on my mind and I needed to get out of the house…"

"Gale was on her mind she means," Peeta cut in "By the way Haymitch, he's back."

He looked shocked, and muttered something about being the last to find out everything.

"Thank you Peeta," I looked disapprovingly at him "Anyway, I was in the woods, and as I got deeper, the blizzard seemed to get more ferocious. I remember thinking that I was near the hanging tree when I heard someone whisper my name. Not in a voice I recognised, and the wind was blaring so loudly in my ears that I thought I'd imagined it. Then there was a tall figure looming over me, he was stood but towering over me, he, I mean they, were tall. They grabbed me and slid a needle into my arm. And that's all I remember." Haymitch was leaning over the table in anticipation at my account of the event.

"That's it? What happened when you woke up?"

"I woke up in the smoke house with Gale, he said he'd found me in the denser area of the woods leant up against a tree. I know for sure it must have been the hanging tree…"

Peeta shook his head in despair.

"Surely there's something else you remember, a face, something."

I thought back to yesterday and remembered the dream, about Cato towering over me and slamming his knife on my fingers. My hand balled up into a fist and the horror of it being reality.

"I had a dream…" I questioned thoughtfully. "It was about District 12 being set on fire, and I was running from the forest to the Seam, trying to get to my family. Then suddenly Cato had hold of me and he cut my fingers off." Peeta flinched; Haymitch didn't show any expression other that concentration "That's when I woke up."

We sat in silence for a while; Peeta kept fiddling with his glass nervously and looking at me with a strange expression.

Haymitch let out a sigh.

"There's something that I forgot to mention…" he said cautiously looking from me to Peeta "Snow isn't dead Katniss." He addressed me directly but I heard Peeta's chair scrape back and the front door slam. I just sat there stunned, I had made a mistake. Snow was the target all along and I went against that. Coin may have been power hungry and may have dropped the ruthless bomb onto my sister, but Snow was the manipulator.

He'd manipulated me with pain and suffering, just as he had Peeta. His words had twisted my minds truths and made them that of a lie; he had made me question Coin's motives and the motives of the leaders of the rebellion. But also, he had made me come to a further realisation of the events which took place, and how the rebels had moulded me into what they believed their 'Leader' should appear to be. I had been used.

"The rebellions aren't finished are they Haymitch."

It wasn't a question, for I knew it was true.

"I cannot do it again, I'm not the Mockingjay, and I never have been. I was their puppet, and if I'm going to have to fight, I'm going to decide my own fate." Then I stood up, feeling the weight of recognition in my blood, I felt free. The thought of another battle had me full of energy and excitement, after everything, it was all I knew. "They won't take anything else from me Haymitch."

I started to leave the house.

"Wait," Haymitch shouted, I stopped and turned to look at him "There's another thing, Finnick's here, and alive, Katniss, he didn't die in the tunnels. He's upstairs, but you cannot tell anybody, I share your views on the Capitol and the rebels, but we will need Finnick's help, and he's no help at the moment. I'm in the process of healing him like I am Peeta."

Yet again I was stood there in shock.

"I want to see him."

**WOW shocker! Review please!**


	8. Chapter 8

**My last chapter was a little rushed, going to slow things down a little. Read and review.**

"Second bedroom on the left," Haymitch say abruptly "Oh and Katniss…be gentle, we lost Annie and the child."

I processed that information as I walked down the hall. Annie and her unborn child dead, I didn't even want to know how. It was just another death, there had been too many in this unfinished war and there would be plenty more to come, but not at the hands of the Capitol, at the hands of me. My mind began to form a plan, predicting my next move.

First, I would find out who was in the High Council of Panem, from there I would find out who was leading the rebellions in the Capitol now, and what the situation was there. Second, I would make sure that my family and the remainder of District 12 were under high security and under no threat what so ever. And finally, I will go to the houses and hiding place of each of the bastards and make them suffer. But at this time, I needed to find out what Haymitch believed Finnick knew.

I paused at the door and knocked lightly.

"Haymitch? I'm running low on…" I opened the door and walked in "Oh Katniss, I'm so pleased to see you."

He looked awful, but still as beautiful as ever. He had scars all down his arm and shirtless torso; the wolves had raked their claws down him everywhere. Everywhere except his face, in some amazing miracle his face had escaped the wreckage. He didn't look sad, but I could see that his smile hadn't quite reached his eyes. He jumped up from his desk which was filled with papers which hosted scribbled diagrams, it looks like Finnick is out to get the thugs too.

He strode over the room and embraced me hard, I hugged him back, taking in his warmth and how he pressed his head into my hair. Then he let go.

"I was wondering how long Haymitch was going to keep me locked up here with no company."

I laughed then frowned in confusion "How are you Finnick?"

He smiled "Oh don't ask me how I am, I'm like you, I've feel what you've felt a hundred times over. But we all have to move on, and stop it from happening again."

He seemed wiser somehow. I studied his features, making sure he wasn't pretending, he seemed very sincere.

"You don't have to treat me like I'm about to break Katniss," he smiled and bent down to look in my eyes "After all, I should be the one asking how you are, you're sister…I was horrified when I heard, and Gale, he's not here…and then Peeta is a little rocky isn't he since the Capitol. Sorry, I shouldn't point these things out to you, you probably think enough about it already."

He went to turn and pull out a chair for me but I gripped his arm.

"It's okay to talk about it Fin."

He smiled at the use of his shortened name, and took my hand for comfort.

"I know, and I know that she's not coming back, we have to move on from these things, we cannot afford to wallow in times like these. We need all the happiness we can get; she wouldn't want me to be sad."

Now I was really confused. Hadn't Haymitch told me to be gentle, that he was in a state? I shook my head and went and sat down on the bed. Finnick followed me and sat down.

"Gale's not in District 2…"

Finnick's eyebrows rose.

"Where is he then?" he asked cautiously suspecting the worst.

I smiled "He's here in District 12, he came home."

He grinned "I'm so happy for you, you've got your best friend back." Then he paused "Katniss…I know you may have enough on already, but I could use a good friend, would you be that for me?" I nodded "After all," he winked and slid up to me, trying to make me feel uncomfortable like he used to "We are good friends anyway…"

I stood up and he laughed.

"None of that, Finnick!"

He lay back laughing, and I carried on joking to make the laughter last longer, of course it must have been a while since he'd laughed. I flopped down onto the bed laughing myself. He propped himself up onto his elbow and faced me.

"It's good to have you around Katniss." he tucked my hair behind my ear and I smiled.

"It's good that you're alright Finnick. I thought we'd lost you." Then I frowned "I don't quite understand though, I believed you were dead." Then I looked down "I'm so sorry that I left you."

He took my hand "Katniss, I'm quite glad you did! Gale did the right thing dragging you away, there was not enough time. You needed to get to the square, and that meant leaving people behind."

"Tell me about the tunnels…" I whispered.

He sighed and led on his back "It was dark, really dark. I thought I was dead myself, I wasn't sure where I was, or what I was doing, I just remember the pain." He closed his eyes "I was certain that the dogs had torn me limb from limb, and they almost did. If you hadn't thrown the bomb in I wouldn't have made it." He smiled at me again "There was a claxon half way through the attack, just like in the games, and then the dogs were gone. I think that Snow knew you weren't there."

"That's awful, oh Finnick I'm so sorry." I sighed "All of this is my fault, if only I had eaten those berries in the 74th, none of this would have happened."

He sat up quickly "Are you mad? Of course it would have happened." He took my chin in his hands "The rebellion had already started before you even entered the 74th, it was just an excuse to go public quicker. You were the signal that the rebels needed. You were what we had all been waiting for. You freed me, us, from our Capitol controlled lives."

I stared at him for a few seconds, processing what he'd said. I didn't have a reply and he was still hold of my chin, not hard, gently so I could move away. I stared at him and he was staring back, he began to move his head closer to mine. A momentary panic came over me, I didn't quite know what he was going to do.

Suddenly Haymitch burst in and we jumped away from each other.

"Jesus Katniss! You've already got two men running after you, I don't think you need another!" he yelled, he was mad. I went bright red and Finnick rubbed the back of his head smiling.

"I'll see you both later." I mumbled and strode out of the room at an incredible pace not looking back to see Finnick's expression. As I walked past Haymitch I gave him a look that could kill.

**Sooo, what do you think?**


	9. Chapter 9

**Second update of the day, I was just so excited about Finnick and Katniss that I had to carry on while the ideas were fresh in my head! Read and review!**

I sped through the house at lightning speed, Haymitch pounded after me trying to catch up. I didn't let him. I was out of the door in a flash and ran straight into Peeta. I smashed into him at such a force that we both fell straight onto the snow crusted ground with a huff.

"Gosh I'm so sorry Peeta; I wasn't looking where I was going…"

He got up and dusted himself off, offering me a hand. I took it gratefully and he pulled me to my feet, but didn't let go of my hand. I stared at him, staring was becoming a habit of mine.

"Catnip…"

I turned to see Gale a few paces from me and Peeta, watching us with concern in his eyes. I slid my hand out of Peeta's and said hasty thanks before walking over to Gale. Gale watched Peeta over my shoulder, who I could sense watching me walk away. Haymitch was right; I didn't need Finnick chasing me as well. I don't want to seem egotistical but it's obvious that Gale and Peeta may end up having a fist off if I remained oblivious to their attraction to me. I took Gale's hand and refused to look over my shoulder at Peeta, no matter how much I wanted to.

"Hey," I said, he turned his attention away from Peeta and put his arm round me, turning me towards the forest. "How did it go?"

He smiled at me, "Remarkably well, she smacked me over the head at first scolding me over why I didn't return sooner, then she went all emotional and made me cuddle her on the settee." He laughed and gave my shoulders a tight squeeze. "Fancy a walk to the Hob?"

I nodded and pushed further into his warm side. As we walked through the streets of District 12 towards the Hob, people turned and stared, pointing at the fact that Gale was back and we were clearly an item. We passed a group of girls and boys our age, I recognised most of them and the girls waved at Gale smiling, giving me glares.

"Hey, Mistle!" Gale shouted to one of the prettier girls, she definitely wasn't from the Seam, and I had only seen her around school a couple of times, Gale and I never talked about it but I presumed that they used to have a bit of a _thing._

Her cheeks went a soft mocha pink and she smiled and waved shyly.

I looked up at Gale and he grinned at me.

"You're not the only one with admirers you know." He laughed, I had the feeling he was doing it to annoy me, so I left it and just shrugged. He'd soon stop and realise he was being ridiculous if I showed no interest in his affairs.

He realised that I wasn't amused and pulled me round and kissed me right in front of them all. The boys groaned in unison at such an open display of affection coming from Gale, all the boys secretly wanted to be similar to Gale, he was independent, knew how to fight, and had played a huge fight in the rebellion. He was also a huge babe magnet when it came to the girls at our school and in our district. Well, he was most likely a womanizer in District 2 as well. I grimaced at the thought of him with other women again. How could I expect to feel special if he had made so many others feel special?

"You know," he said as we walked "I've saved I love you especially for you," he said as if reading my thoughts "I've always loved you Catnip, we just had to wait for the age gap to fill. And you were so convinced you didn't need anyone, I think that romance has always been the last thing on your mind."

I so desperately wanted to tell him that Finnick was alive, and that I was planning a raid, but I didn't want him to bury himself in it all again. He became selfish, or maybe I became selfish, holding onto him while he pushed me away trying to end the Capitol, he was too involved and it caused him to do things he regrets. Besides, he wasn't close to Finnick anyway, not like Peeta or I, not like Haymitch. I was devastated when I thought we had lost him, and Finnick and Peeta can help each other recover, along with my help. Peeta seems to be getting better every day, how lovely it had felt when he held my bare hand in his leather cladded gloved one.

"What are you thinking about Catnip?" Gale was looking at me wonderingly.

We had reached my old house, and he was holding the door open for me. I hadn't even noticed.

I shook my head and slipped inside. I went to the fire and struck up a flame, then turned to face Gale.

He looked so beautiful in the orange glow. He smiled gently, and started striding across the room toward me. I almost ran into his arms and our lips met and moved in unison. He was holding me to close, and I could sense every muscle in his body, I was buzzing with electricity and energy. His lips moved roughly against mine in a gentle way. The kiss was passionate, but soon my mind began to wonder and his hands began to slide further down my back. I pulled away and shook my head.

"Not here Gale." I whispered "Not now."

He looked at me and smiled.

"Now I know you've considered it."

**Reviews are well appreciated! **


	10. Chapter 10

**Emotional writing so don't judge, me and my boyfriend have just gone on a break, been together over a year. Kill me now, I'm so upset. Anyway hopefully it'll make my writing better.**

Gale was to stay in his old house on the Seam with his family, after he walked me home I went over to see Peeta.

This time I knocked on his door, he opened it and stood in the doorway blocking me from entering. There were voices coming from inside and I could see the back of Finnick's head poking over the top of an armchair.

"You didn't invite me?" I performed a shocked and hurt face.

He didn't laugh "Nope." He said simply.

I peeped over his shoulder and tried to get a good look in but he stepped out into the cold and shut the door behind him. He stood there with his arms crossed staring at me, showing that he wasn't going to let me in.

"Hey!" I grabbed his shoulder getting ready to move him out of the way and his eyes flared up.

"Not everything is about you Katniss!" he smacked my hand off his shoulder and twisted it behind my back before shoving me to the ground. I looked at him in shock. What was wrong with him? "I don't see why you think you have to be involved in everything, and everyone."

He was talking about Finnick, Jesus Christ could Haymitch not keep his mouth closed for one second? Why was Peeta getting upset about it though? He was acting like Capitol Peeta but having the emotions of Old Peeta. He started towards me again, but I was ready.

I slipped between his legs and punched his neck hard; he crumpled to the floor unconscious. I was dealing with a schizophrenic here…

I pulled him by his shoulders back into the house and set him by the door.

"What have you done now Katniss?" Haymitch whined.

I laughed "He wouldn't let me in!" I faked innocence "Actually Haymitch he had a murderous stage…again."

He glanced at me then shouted "Come on Finnick let's get him up into bed!" as if Finnick was still sat in his chair five metres away not standing two centre metres away with a concerned look on his face. I avoided his eye contact, not wanting to see his expression if our eyes met.

I didn't feel odd about being around all these men without Gale, after all they were my friends not his, and we had been through so much together. Deaths, injuries and the games. We each knew the others weakness and sensitive spot (not sexual) and we each held a certain connection with one another.

Finnick and Haymitch grabbed Peeta and hauled him up the stairs, Finnick didn't huff once but Haymitch wheezed and choked.

"You should really do more exercise Haymitch!" I called cheekily after them, to which I heard him mutter something about him being too busy saving my ass.

I pottered into the kitchen and poured myself a glass of orange juice out of the fridge, I could see that Finnick was on something much stronger and Haymitch was on water, this made me smile.

Heavy footsteps thundered down the stairs and into the sitting room, Haymitch plonked himself in the comfiest armchair and panted a little. Finnick smiled at me, and I was forced to look into his eyes and smiled back, I saw only kindness. He sat on the loveseat and I was forced to sit next to him as Haymitch had so rudely put his feet up on the buffet. The seat went deeper in the middle so as we were both leaning in a little our shoulders were touching slightly.

Finnick was beautiful in many ways, he was wearing a short sleeved black tee shirt and I could easily see the scars on his arms in the firelight. I found my fingers tracing one of them from his elbow crease to his wrist, before I realised what I was doing and pulled away, starting conversation abruptly. Finnick was looking at me wondrously.

"So, what are you hiding from me?"

Haymitch coughed, trying to cover up his surprise of my knowing something was up.

"Hiding? Oh we're hiding nothing my dear," he lied.

"You're a rotten liar Haymitch," I turned to Finnick "What about you Fin? You going to tell me?"

Finnick smiled at the use of his nickname and his gaze flickered to Haymitch who didn't look very amused.

"Umm…"

"No he's not going to tell you, because there's nothing to tell." Haymitch said finally, "Now would you two stop making googly eyes at each other before I throw up. I'm sure Gale wouldn't be happy to find out that you've got yourself another admirer Katniss." Haymitch warned.

I blushed and looked down at my hands. Insults? Yeah, I can deal with those. But romance? Nope, I'm branded useless in discussing these matters with a straight face.

"Wait…" Finnick paused "you and Gale are together?"

I didn't look up from my hands.

"Yes they are Finnick so watch your back, the man's rather good with a bow, after all he was taught by Katniss herself. Watch were you tread too…snares." He said simply, but I could hear the warning in his voice.

Finnick turned defensive.

"Look, in all honesty Haymitch I don't know what you're on about. You're an old friend but Katniss is closer to me than you, I'm sorry, I've asked her to be my friend so just drop all this romance shit."

He turned his head slightly and winked so only I could see. I grinned, then scolded myself for being flirty.

I really enjoyed Finnick's company, it wasn't intense like Gale's – always talking of past events, feelings and war – it wasn't like Peeta's – all intense and unpredictable. It was casual and friendly. And I needed a friend I could count on. One that wasn't going to run off again or try and murder me. Haymitch rose to his feet with a grunt and stomped out of the room like an eight year old having a paddy.

Finnick turned to me and took my hand in his.

"How come you didn't tell me you and Gale were an item?"

I shrugged, not in an ignorant way.

"I don't know, I guess the concepts new to me as well. I mean I don't know what we are yet. He calls me his girlfriend, but I'm nobody's property."

"Good," he said simply and touched his lips to mine.

I pulled away quickly in shock.

"Sorry…" he said and tried to take his hand off mine.

I lay my other hand on top of his and leaned forward and kissed his cheek, showing him that I was fond of him too, but just not ready.

"You're a good friend Finnick. Now are you going to tell me about what you're hiding or not?"

**Read and review!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Okay, so I know some people are complaining saying it's too fast, but I don't want people to get bored, it's a fan fiction not a book, so just stop criticizing.**

Finnick sighed and looked at our entwined fingers.

"Look, Peeta doesn't want you involved in this new revolution against the leaders of Panem." He said quickly and sat there waiting for me to blow up…which I did.

"WHAT?" I shouted in awe "ARE YOU ACTUALLY FUCKING KIDDING ME?"

He flinched "Please stop being so loud, Haymitch will hear you." He hushed.

I stood up and knocked his drink out of his hand.

"Let him hear!" I screamed "Let the whole world know!"

Finnick was stood up now flapping his arms around trying to calm me down.

I turned and Haymitch and Peeta were stood in the doorway.

"You tell the world that the girl on fire is back, and she's not giving up until every person that had the slightest connection with Prim's death is dead. You warn them to run." I smiled manically.

Then made a move for the door but Peeta blocked it again.

"I guess that Gale's not got a chance anymore then has he?" he smirked.

I swung my fist round and smacked him in the face, knocking him into the door frame. I proceeded to smash his head against the frame, hard, and throw him to the ground. All the while screaming abuse at him. I stamped on his wrist and heard a crack. He yelled out in pain and tried to shove me off him but I had my hands around his throat and was sat on his. He was making choking sounds and thrashing around violently.

Finnick placed his hand on my shoulder.

"Katniss, stop…" he said gently "You're going to kill him."

He took me by the waste and scooped me up into his arms. Peeta shuffled away from me scared.

That's when I burst into tears.

I shoved my face into Finnick's shoulder and cried more than I had in a long time. Haymitch and Peeta remained silent while Finnick carried me upstairs to his bed. He lay me under the covers, ignoring my protests and got a damp facecloth which he dapped across me forehead. You wouldn't expect Finnick to be good at this stuff, but I got the impression he'd done it many times before.

Haymitch came in silently.

"Is she okay?" he said, not having seen me like this before.

Finnick turned then looked back at me "Go and get Gale," Haymitch made no move "Please."

Haymitch nodded and we heard the front door slam.

"Thank you," I whispered.

He smiled and kissed my forehead then said sadly "It's what friends do…right?" he didn't even know himself, we were at a total loss as to our feelings for each other. I reached up and pulled him onto me in an embrace.

Then he pulled up and went to dampen the cloth, "Gale will be here any moment…" he said looking out of the window.

"Why did you call him?" I sat up in bed.

He turned around and looked at me.

"Because he knows you better than anyone." He knew that wasn't what I meant "Because I can't offer you that type of comfort Katniss, you don't need me bringing you down."

"Why would you bring me down?" I questioned.

He sighed "I know how I feel about you and I don't think you can…" he trailed off as Gale ran into the room. He didn't even notice Finnick as he crossed the room and sat on the edge of the bed.

"You okay?" he said gently, like I was about to break "What's gotten into you lately, huh?" he said and pulled me up into a tight embrace, he squeezed me into him and I looked at Finnick across the room who was staring out of the window. I wish he'd got to finish his sentence. If he had I'd know where I stand and how to work round things, even though I'm unsure of my feelings, being in this room holing Gale and staring at Finnick seems odd.

"You kicked his ass though, he's a little quiet downstairs," Gale grinned.

Laughter flickered up out of my throat. It was quite funny, I mean, Peeta had taken it upon himself to try and protect me and it turns out that he's the one that needs protecting.

"Gale…look," I said and nodded in Finnick's direction.

He stood up quickly in shock.

"But…you're dead?"

"Quite dead," Finnick joked "Thought I was."

Gale stood there silently then grinned and went and gave Finnick a brotherly hug.

"God I'm glad you're okay, the prospect of thinking about the people we lost in the Capitol haunts me, did anyone else get out?" he said a little too hopefully.

Finnick shook his head.

The Gale turned to me "Wait…how long have you known?"

"This morning…"

"You didn't think to tell me? I thought he was dead because I made you leave him."

I looked at the floor and Finnick jumped in.

"Look Gale, she's been a good friend to me and I'm asking you to do the same. Don't tell anyone. No one knows."

I could feel the subject of the newly forming rebellion coming up and I panicked and jumped out of bed.

"I feel much better now, shall we go Gale?" I took his hand and he nodded.

As we walked past Finnick a mouthed thanks and touched his hand with my spare one. He watched Gale and I walk across the snow and enter my house, then he was gone.

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	12. Chapter 12

**I saw The Hunger Games last night! It was so good, cannot believe how well they made it, most of it was just how I imagined, so impressed want to go and see it again!**

I woke up at quarter to five with the incredible urge to hunt. I slipped out of bed and down the stairs without making a single sound, then out of the front door with my hunting jacket and bow on my back, still clad in my sleeping pants and tunic. The snow had melted and but the wind was still cold. The Victors Village would no longer be a sad place soon, Hazel and the kids were planning on moving into one of the houses, seen as their home on the Seam was depressing and extremely small. I thought about knocking for Gale as I walked towards the Seam, but figured that he could do with his sleep. As I walked past the bakery I thought about the time when I was starving hungry, when I had almost given up, and Peeta tossed me the bread. It was raining hard, and most rainy days remind me of that day. When the street turns into a river and the Seam is ankle deep mud. The fun Gale and I used to have, mud fights, wrestling. Everything was so much simpler then, even though we had to look after our families, we were happier than now. And that was with the Capitol in charge. Even though we would dread the Reaping each year, it came and went. The year Prims name was drawn out of the glass jar was the day that our world turned upside down. I pushed the Capitol further towards the edge with each action I made, until finally they were forced to try and kill me again, and again. They've been hunting me for three years now, not that they hadn't already made my life miserable. Gale and I had fun, yes, but we were never as free as we are now. No boundaries. We could run off and live in the woods with no worries, and we'd get way further than five miles because no one would care. We could make it…

I passed Gales house silently, peeking through the window as I went by, his jacket was hung on its peg, he was still asleep. I jogged on and ducked under the electric fence then ran quickly down into the depths of the forest. I crouched by a tree and listened, slowing my breathing. I slid an arrow from my sheath and positioned it in my bow. The forest was alive, and so was I.

A squirrel scrambled up the tree opposite me, I stood up quickly and let my arrow fly. It landed straight through its eye. I ran up to it and yanked the arrow out. That's when I heard a twig snap behind me. I climbed the tree quickly with the rabbit slung over my shoulder and waited, bow poised.

A cloaked man strode into view, his hood pulled up over his face. I shot my arrow and it pinned his cloak against a nearby tree. I dropped out of my own tree and yanked his hood down.

"Jesus Katniss!"

Finnick.

I yanked my arrow out of the tree.

"What are you doing here Finnick?" I half shouted half whispered as to not scare away the game "And why are you dressed like the…reaper?"

He laughed at the irony "Calm down would you, sorry I scared you." He smiled and pulled on my plait "Saw you leave, thought we could hang."

"And you didn't think about just saying 'Hey Katniss, mind if I come with you?' you had to follow me like a creeper?"

He looked at me for a moment then burst out laughing, doubled over in hysterics.

I crossed my arms over my chest sulkily "What are you laughing at?" I said annoyed.

"You…face…oh…hahahah," was all I got between his laughter.

I stood there tapping my foot pretending I was annoyed.

"Oh Katniss, you do make me laugh." He ran his hands down my arms tightly as if brushing something off me "Relax…" he whispered.

I let my shoulders drop and slipped to the ground landing on my bum with a huff.

He slid down the tree and sat on the floor with me, tucking his knees up and resting his arms and chin on them. He blew at his over grown fringe to get it off his face.

"What's up?"

"I just can't stop thinking about that person jumping me the other day…"

He nodded, "Understandable, you seemed to let it go quite easily."

"Well I was so happy that Gale was back…" I stopped and looked at his face unsure of what to see.

He was looking at the floor, but then he held his head up and urged me to carry on.

"I just…so many things have happened. And finding out you were okay was a big shocker, along with Peeta acting like he likes me again. Obviously he flipped last night…"

"He doesn't mean it you know," Finnick said.

I nodded and placed my hand on the side of his face for a moment "I know. It just hurts sometimes."

My hand lingered and we looked into each other's eyes for a while.

"I was thinking Finnick, we need to get ready."

"I know," he said simply.

"You can't tell Gale…" I almost whispered "You know what he'll do."

He nodded and got to his feet pulling me with him.

"Might as well start now then."

He swiftly picked up my bow and drew back, firing an arrow near a rabbit that was grazing, he missed by about ten centimetres.

"You're doing it wrong," I stood and placed my hands on his arms, lifting his elbows and pushing his the strained string closer to his face "Breath…aim…release."

He let go of the wire and the arrow shot into the ground a centre metre from the rabbit, it spooked and bounded for cover out of sight.

I nodded in approval "Practice may be needed before I can hit them in the eye like you." He said and gestured towards the squirrel still perched on my shoulder.

He shot at some nearby trees and already his aim was improving, the longer he was hold of the bow and the more used to it he got, the better his shots were.

After a while of me telling him what to do and what not to do we went on a run through the forest, a silent run. We ran like we were part of the forest, like animals who didn't want to draw attention. He'd had a lot of practice at that and was big competition for me. In the end it turned into a race as to who could get to the fence the fastest, I knew the forest floors much better than Finnick and swung from the trunks and branches letting my body move with the path the forest had made comfortably. I reached the fence with minutes to spare and sat waiting for Finnick.

Suddenly Finnick emerged from the trees and hurtled into me because of his speed. He knocked me to the ground and lay on top of me. I shoved him.

"Hey, hey, hey, what's the rush?" he said and leaned closer teasing me. He knew how to make me uncomfortable to easily. "I'm happy right…here…" he leaned even closer and I struggled to keep a straight face.

He got even closer…

"Okay! Okay!" I laughed "You got me!"

We both laughed until our stomachs hurt, not changing position and not noticing that Gale was only a few metres away.

"Get off her." he didn't sound very happy at all.

**Okay so sorry that took so long to write, been doing so much other stuff! I'm in New York until Thursday so I shan't be updating until after then. Review my stuff! Thanks guys!**


	13. Chapter 13

**I may just have time to write a short chapter this morning.**

"Get off her." Gale said again. Finnick made no move and just grinned, I shoved at him a little trying to get him off me, it was getting a little tense. "I said. Get. Off. Her. Now. Or I'll rip you off her."

I could see Finnick thinking of whether to take him seriously or whether to take the mick, you know what he chose already, this is Finnick we're talking about…

"Actually," he grinned naughtily challenging Gale "I'm rather comfortable right here." He leaned down and placed his head on my shoulder and closed his eyes.

Suddenly he was flying off me, Gale threw him into a nearby tree and Finnick just laughed.

Gale's forearm was pressed against Finnick's throat.

"Do you really think you're stronger than me Hawethorn?"

"I know I'm stronger." With that Gale smashed Finnick's head back into the tree causing blood to trickle down his face.

I realised I had been sat on the floor watching all of this and letting it all happen so I chose this moment to step in. I grabbed Gale's shoulder and yanked him away from Finnick.

"Are you serious?" I said looking back at him "Jesus Gale why did you do that? You're being ridiculous."

He pointed at Finnick "He likes you Katniss, no matter how much you think he's mourning over Annie."

I stared at him in disbelief while holding Finnick's blooded face in my hands.

"And you think that makes this acceptable?" I wiped some more blood off Finnick's head "Go home Gale." I said finally.

He looked like he was about to argue with me but I pointed in the general direction of the Seam and turned my back to him. When I looked over my shoulder I could see his retreating back.

"I'm so sorry Finnick, that looked painful."

He grinned "I brought it on myself, don't be sorry, and I've had worse injuries."

"The worst at the hands of me…" I grimaced remembering the mutts.

He placed his hand on the side of mine "Don't ever say that again, it wasn't your fault." He pulled me into a cuddle which was so lovely and warm, and had me thinking I might just decide to stay there for the rest of the morning.

He coughed "Umm Katniss, you might want to let go now…" he said in fake embarrassment with humour in his eyes.

I smacked his arm "Shut up…" and smiled shyly.

"You might not believe it but you can actually be quite sweet," he smiled and grabbed my hand.

We started walking towards the Seam, while I grimaced at the thought of being cute.

He laughed at my reaction and squeezed my hand.

"Well why do you think that so many men want to be with you?"

I shrugged, because honestly. I had no idea what they saw in me.

"Because I won the Hunger Games?" I questioned.

He shook his head "Because you're desirable." Then he sighed "Even I want you…"

I took my hand out of his and distanced myself from him by a step.

"Look Fin, Gale just got weirdly jealous, and Peeta keeps trying to kill me and I don't really want the hassle of another one of those things. I like you too, but…"

He dived across the space and kissed me full on the mouth.

"Shh…" he whispered against my lips.

He had his hands on the back of my neck and holding the sides of my face. He tasted sweet and his lips felt warm against my own. I began to shake my head but he silenced me with his eyes. They were a deep sea green, and made me think back to the time we were both pointing weapons at each other in the Quarter Quell, he wouldn't shoot me, and was left waiting to see if I was going to end his life.

"Finnick…" I started.

"I like you," he said simply "As more than a friend, and I don't know why."

"I'm with Gale…"

"I know." He said with a grimace "And I don't expect you to return the feelings, I just had to kiss you…to see how it felt."

"And?" I said lightly.

He grinned and pulled my face to his again.

"It's better than I imagined." Our lips were brought together again and one of his hands slid down to press in the middle of my back, making me closer to him. Our lips moved in sync, and when we pulled away we were both breathless and rosy.

I liked Finnick too, but I didn't know who I liked more. I felt bad for doing this with him when I was with Gale, but he was the one who kissed me. And Gale had acted like a prick.

I thought of Peeta and nothing really came to mind, he hadn't shown me any kindness since we had drinks the other night, in fact he'd basically called me a slut and tried to kill me.

"I should go…" I whispered.

I needed to go and find Gale and talk to him about his actions, and maybe figure out what was going on with him and his mind.

Finnick nodded and pulled me in for one last kiss.

Then I turned and headed to Gale's house, leaving Finnick in my wake.

**Okay so read and review, it might be a bit rushed but I thought you might all like another chapter to make up for how long it took me to update before!**


	14. Chapter 14

**I'm back from New York, had a great trip, got loads of clothes, thanks for asking…**

I strode confidently to Gale's house, sure that I was going to sort out his rash behaviour, but as I stepped onto the doorstep I began to feel a little uncertain of myself. Gale was an old friend, he knew me better than anyone did, and if there was anyone he could take criticism off it was me. Kissing Finnick may have been a mistake, but it was one that I couldn't afford to tell, how was I to know that Gale was to be the jealous type. Then again, he may have been right to be sceptical looking back on the events five minutes ago.

It was just horrifying watching him attack Finnick like that, I didn't understand his motives. This was the reason I did not want him returning to the battle field, to the revolution, the rebellion – he was just too angry. The rage he felt for the Capitol had not yet been subdued, and I fear and know that the rage can be let out easily.

Finnick never made a move to fight back though…I thought that odd since I know that Finnick is stronger and more skilled in the art of combat that Gale will ever be, it's just something that he's good at. Gale is head strong, but he hasn't been training as long as Finnick, and we know what the games are like. Gale may have watched us in them, but he doesn't know the feeling when you're in them and death waits at every corner.

Standing there having knocked on the door, I debated the best way to begin our conversation, deciding that a house full of children may not be the best location.

Gale answered the door and I gestured at him to step out into the morning with me, he did so.

He stared at me coldly so I turned on my heel and stalked towards my old house, knowing that he would follow me. I didn't bother lighting the fire once inside the house, I just took a seat at the small kitchen table – which also functioned as the kitchen work top – and glared back at Gale.

"Problem?" I said darkly.

Gale just continued to stare at me coldly.

I knew why I was acting this way with him, his arrogance and blundering violence was unnecessary and needed to stop. Finnick may have made Gale's jealousy worse by mocking him, but surely Gale should know that retaliation of the sort Gale gave him was what Finnick was wanting. Finnick wasn't afraid of anything anymore, he had been through too much, felt too much pain – physical and emotional – to be anything but passive.

"It's got to stop Gale." I said strongly with my head held high, I had to make sure that he wasn't going to brush this subject over. "You're not on the front line anymore Gale, if you want to be in more action then go back to District 2."

He looked hurt by my suggestion, but soon his hard mask returned. He still said nothing so I went to kneel and light the fire. As I was trying to make a spark with the two flints which lived on the mantel piece, Gale came and sat directly behind me and pulled me backwards so that my back was pressed against his back and I sat in between his legs.

I sighed at the closeness and how good it felt, kissing Finnick was passionate and raw, Gale could do passion, but he was tender and sweet, his main goal was to look after me, even though he left before.

"I love you," he whispered into my ear "Sorry for acting jealous. I know I don't own you."

_No you don't _I thought, I hated possessive people, there was such a thing as sharing. Of course I'm not suggesting that I want to be shared between two men, but I share the attention I give others, that was something Gale and a lot of others needed to understand. Even so, as he said those words, I felt extreme guilt wash over me as i flashed back to the forest not fifteen minutes ago.

Gale kissed the back of my neck sexily and I let out a soft moan, which immediately made me flush as soon as it had escaped from the back of my throat. Gale pulled up and watched me.

"I like how I can still make you blush, Catnip," he chuckled and pulled me around so that our fronts were pressed together and so I was led on top of him.

"I love you too," I finally said.

I wasn't lying, I did love Gale, I've always loved him, he's been there through thick and thin, and when I came out of the Hunger Games he wanted to be with me, and I'm sure that I wanted to be with him. My vision had been clouded by Peeta's affections and the threats Snow was giving me. But overall, Gale was a good man. He was no longer the boy that I would hunt in the forest with for game, he had changed into a man who cared about me, and who cared about the fate of Panem, a little too much if I was honest.

I lay my head on his chest and he kissed my hair lightly then began running his fingers through it, of course they didn't get very far as I don't tend to spend too much time brushing my hair, therefor it was full of knots and twists, he soon gave up and hugged me closer.

"I'm not letting you go again Catnip," he whispered as I stared into the flames unseeing "I don't think I could survive without you scolding me." He smiled at his joke, but I knew that behind his smile there was pain, and truth in what he said. Gale was becoming reliant on our relationship, and I was not. Sure, I love Gale with all my heart, but growing that close to people was dangerous in these times, and I was afraid of hurting him, and most of all afraid of hurting myself again.

I silenced him with a kiss, I didn't want to hear any more of his emotion soaked words, I straddled him and he sat up pulling me deeper into him. The kiss began to get heated as I had expected and I turned my head to the side for a breath. When I didn't return to his lips Gale withdrew from kissing my neck and took my face in his hands, he looked deep into my eyes and I was forced to look into him. I was ashamed of how I had acted in the forest, but he misunderstood my shame for disappointment.

"I'm truly sorry for attacking Finnick," he looked down and mumbled something unintelligible.

"Pardon?"

"I just…sometimes I don't think I'm enough for you. I'm weary of Finnick and Peeta because you shared so much with them, and each risked their lives to save you…I almost got you killed, and I did get your sister killed. I'm no liability, but I'm not _them_."

I decided to sleep at the Seam that night, I didn't want any distractions from our busy house, and the Seam was almost silent at night time when, out of old habit, its inhabitants refuse to go out in the dark and the mists. Gale had insisted that he stay, but knowing that I needed time to think about my current situation.

It was just passed midnight and I had been in the Seam house since five in that evening, I was just lounging by the fire when the door burst open and a dark figure stood in the entrance. I darted for the kitchen and grabbed a carving knife, I lunged for the figure and there was a yell.

"WOAH!" Finnick shouted ducking beneath my blade. Then he held his hands up quickly and eyed me and my blade with questionable discomfort.

I dropped the blade to my side, feeling relieved, with my other hand I reached up to much my had above my heart.

"You almost frightened me to death." I said.

He looked disbelieving "_I_ nearly scared you to death, sorry who was it that almost got stabbed?" he scolded and I shrugged trying to annoy him "Has anyone ever told you to relax Catnip." He said using Gale's nickname to irritate me like I had him.

I went and slouched back in the chair by the hearth and he took off his jacket then did the same.

"Seriously Finnick stop following me," I attempted seriousness but I couldn't help the smile in my voice.

"Actually this time I didn't follow you," he smirked "I _found _you."

"I was never lost…" I laughed.

He sighed "Let me have my fun okay!" he joked "It's fun feeling like you're useful round here."

It must be hard for Finnick, no one being able to know he's in the district, in all honesty I didn't fully understand why his location wasn't to be revealed.

"Why can't you just tell people you're here?" I asked.

He rubbed the back of his head, he did that when he was thinking about his upcoming words.

"There are some things that are far more complicated than we give them credit for." He began, suddenly seeming much older than myself, acting his age for once, that was another thing about Finnick and I, the age gap was wide. "Everyone knew that once we killed Snow that Coin would rule, everyone in the rebellion that is. Although, some people doubted her ability to rule, would Panem just turn back to its old ways with her as leader? I believed it would, some say that Coin had begun the rebellion, took charge, that she deserved the position. But I, like you, saw that Coin was just as power hungry as Snow. The problem was, no one would turn against her, even less confront her, she had the power to execute whoever she may see fit, and that was what kept her in charge for so long. It wasn't her plans, or her schemes, it was her position. She had led the rebels in District 13, and when the time came for the other districts evacuees to join them she would not retire from her post. She would not share her power, nor would she tell anyone but her close circle members of her plans.

"When I heard about you shooting Coin instead of Snow, I thought two things, the first thing: you were crazy and vengeful for your sister, that was what drove you to drive the arrow through Coins heart instead of Snows. The second: that you had realised like many others, that once Snow was captured, he was no longer the threat, Coin was the threat."

I nodded to show I was following his conversation.

"I've gone off task…in answer to your question. We need to keep a small army together, after all, everyone thinks I'm dead, and how useful could a Victor with a trident be if we were suddenly facing more attacks. It was good timing if you ask me, that Gale came home at the time he did, almost too good timing."

"What are you suggesting?" I said a little defensively.

He shrugged nonchalantly "Just that Gale's return came only a couple of days after my own, I just think that it's quite a coincidence that I return, you get jumped, and a man who's in with the government returns."

I stood up suddenly angry at Finnick's assumptions.

"How dare you say that?" I raised my voice "Get this in your head Finnick. It was a coincidence, that's all it was!"

He held his hands up again to show he was no threat.

"Look," he said gently, leaning forwards and pulling me to sit on his lap "I was just seeing all the views. That's all. Got to be open minded, you should know that from the games."

I smiled, letting my anger fade away. There was no point being angry at Finnick, there are plenty more people I should be angry with.

So Finnick and I talked about the rebellion some more, and about the happenings in the tunnel, all the while sitting rather close. I asked about his family back in District 4, he said all that remained were his little sister and aunt, his little sisters name is Flo. He talks so fondly of her, he misses her, you can see it in his eyes.

"She believes I'm dead." He said sadly "But one day, when all is well in the world, I will go and find her, and promise never to leave her again, poor kid. You could come and see District 4, a District 4 without the Peacekeepers and daily targets would be beautiful to see." I smiled shyly "I could teach you how to fish, and take you swimming. It would be marvellous." He took my hand in his and I rested my head on his shoulder sleepily.

"It's getting late," he began to get up "I should be getting back."

"No!" I blushed then looked back up at him "Would you stay, the night?"

Finnick raised his eyebrows in shock.

"Not like that!" blushing more furiously "I mean just to _sleep_ with me." I emphesised the word sleep, therefor no sexual innuendoes would be necessary.

"I'd love to…" he trailed off in a low voice.

We made our way to mine and Prim's old bedroom, the beds already pushed together from when Prim had nightmares. Prim, I thought, I miss her so much it hurts, but what can I do, just live on?

Finnick began to strip off.

"What are you doing?" I asked in alarm.

He laughed, obviously aware of how uneasy it would make me.

"Calm down Katniss, you'd think you'd never touched a man." He grinned "I'm not going to sleep in my outer clothes am I?"

She shook her head and he patted the section of bed next to him, he was already tucked under the blankets of my half of the bed.

"That's my half," I pointed out, motioning for him to scoot over. He shook his head stubbornly. "Move!" I laughed.

He sat up and grabbed me by the waste, I'd stripped down to my undergarments but hadn't had chance to put on my night clothes. So I was left squirming against his naked chest in only a white kami and very short shorts.

Finnick's strength surprised me, he lifted me up and lay me under the covers so that the whole of his front pressed firmly against his back. He had obviously had practice snuggling like this.

"Night then," he said and pecked me on the cheek.

"Night…" I whispered.

**I made this chapter longer, so hope you enjoyed, reviews!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Hope you all liked the last chapter, spent a lot of time on it, enjoy.**

There was a sharp knock on the door, my eyes snapped open, there was a dim light basking the room, it couldn't be far off sunrise. Finnick's arm was draped across my waist and I shoved it off as I got up to answer the door. I pulled on my clothes from yesterday then shoved Finnick in order to wake him. The house creaked around me as I sped down the dusty wooden stair case. I missed this house, there was something calm about it, it was the furthest I could get from the Capitol other than the forest. There's a sense of escape in it, the fact that when I'm feeling overwhelmed, as I have recently, I can just come here and stay, uncaring for that moment of the outside world. It was also a great place to form the next moves of my plans.

I opened the door to find Haymitch lounging in the doorway.

"Alright sweetheart," he leered as he pushed himself past me into the house, he held his hands up "Go on, where is he?"

"Where's who?" I faked innocence.

"I'm not playing Katniss," he warned.

"I don't know what you're talking about Haymitch, who are you looking for?"

A thud sounded upstairs as Finnick dragged himself out of my bed, and Haymitch's eyes darted to the staircase. He made his way swiftly up the stairs with me following quickly behind.

"Haymitch!" I shouted as we got to the landing "Haymitch, get out of my house!"

Finnick opened the door to my bedroom in confusion.

"Is everything alri…" he stopped as he saw Haymitch's face as he took in Finnick's attire.

He turned to look at me, then back at Finnick, his face growing redder and angrier by the second.

"Haymitch?" I questioned quietly.

"Please tell me this isn't what this looks like!" he exploded "Finnick have you lost your shitting mind?" he screeched.

I cringed away from Haymitch's voice, Finnick just looked at the floor not saying anything. He obviously wasn't going to say anything.

"What exactly does it look like?" I said wearily.

Haymitch turned on me and pointed in Finnick's direction "Please tell me that you two haven't…haven't…" he was struggling to get it out, he finally said simply "Please tell me you haven't slept together."

"Define sleep…" Finnick said cheekily.

Haymitch lunged at him shouting something about me being a kid.

"Actually I'm not a kid, and if that's what you're asking Haymitch, no we haven't had sex, but I would have if I'd wanted to!" I was annoyed "I'm eighteen! I'm not a child Haymitch, I've managed to keep myself alive this long haven't I?"

"She's right Haymitch…" Finnick said defiantly "And who are you to tell us who we can or can't see?"

He grabbed Finnick by the shoulder and pulled his face close to his.

"I am the person who is trying to keep you alive, Hawthorn already knows you're here, and I'm not going to be the one who stops him from killing you when he finds out about this!"

"Gale has nothing to do with this! It was nothing!" I screamed.

"What?" Finnick said hurt.

"It was nothing okay? You know that…"

"Yeah, I did…" he turned to Haymitch "Hear her? Nothing." Then he pushed passed us both, grabbed his cloak off the banister and ran out of the house.

Haymitch and I looked at each other in shock.

"Well done." He muttered and exited the house also.

I stared after them in disbelief, how had I become the bad guy? Finnick knew there was nothing going on, well not enough to talk about anyway, and we weren't exactly going to sit down and discuss our feelings with Haymitch. Haymitch had acted like he was bipolar or something, I don't see the problem with me and Finnick being friends, we both needed a friend. Maybe I should find Haymitch a friend, he might cheer up then, and drunken Haymitch wasn't as uptight as sober Haymitch.

I began to question my motives with Finnick the more I thought about him. He's a lovely man, but don't I want to be with Gale? Gale's friendship is what I've known for most of my life, and I liked being around him, I really felt like I was the only one he wanted. But there was something raw about the way I felt for Finnick, I like the way we're not supposed to be close, it was exciting. Maybe the lack of excitement in my life at the moment was the reason for my feelings…

I hadn't thought much about the unknown who injected me, they hadn't been back since, and I hadn't done much to figure them out. Finnick's return came at a time which made me momentarily forget about it. Maybe I should focus myself on finding out who that was and what they want rather than to think about men. I hadn't lost my virginity yet, but I didn't plan on losing my life.

**Okay everyone sorry for the wait but I could really do with some ideas on how to carry this on, I'm out of them! And if I don't get some ideas then I'll have to leave it. Review!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Hi everyone, it's been a while but I'm back and hopefully this will make up for it.**

I sat by the extinguished fire and wept; soon there was another knock on the door. I didn't answer. The door creaked open and I didn't even bother to turn around to look who it was, that was a mistake. Fingers encircled my throat and squeezed so hard, I thrashed around hopelessly trying to tear the arms away from me. Black spots began to appear in my eyes and the world around me started to fade. My last thought before I went unconscious, was that if I was gone at least I wouldn't be able to hurt anybody.

What I didn't expect was that I woke. I woke to a dimly lit room with rusty metal chains dangling from the ceiling and concrete walls. The metal door opened harshly and a bucket of ice cold water was thrown over me.

"Get up," spoke a raged voice.

I pulled myself to my feet groaning as my muscles protested. I rose my head to see Gale standing before me.

"You?!" I struggled for words "Why?"

"I'm so sorry Katniss," his eyes were heartbroken. His mouth opened like he was about to say something to me when the door opened suddenly again and President Snow walked in.

"Get him out of here before he causes more damage than he already has." He said briskly as two guards escorted Gale out of the room.

"What have you done to him? He wouldn't do this to me, ever. Tell me! Gale! Gale please!" I screamed and shook my shackles trying to break them.

President Snow clapped his hands.

"Bravo, bravo, quite a show," he sounded bored "now did you really think that we were going to let you get away with ruining my city once again. You have caused great problems over the past two years Miss Katniss Everdeen. Even your little friend here understood my worries."

"I'll kill you," I screeched "I had the choice to kill you! You have no idea who you're dealing with President Snow." I chuckled under my breath at the sheer stupidity of his actions. "Do you think I'm afraid of you? Do you?"

He shook his head and laughed "It is not about you being afraid of me my dear girl, it is about the people on the other side of these walls. Control must be regained, and you are my first example. After you I will take out your little friend who so stupidly brought you and himself to me."

_Think Katniss, _I said to myself_, think of a way to get out of this. Surely help must be on the way. Finnick will come for you, Peeta will come for you, Haymitch will come for you because that's what they do, they protect you. Keep Snow talking, buy yourself some more time._

"Your time is almost up Miss Everdeen, I think I'll give you two a moment to yourself, say your last words." He exited the cell and Gale was thrown in.

He did not look at me, he only crawled into the corner and bowed his head in shame.

"So you're not even going to look at me? Stare me in the face you coward! Look at who you've condemned to death."

His head lifted and tears were streaming down his face.

"They have my sister, I came for you that day in the woods, but I couldn't do it, so they cut off her hand and sent it to me in a box." My eyes softened "I had to bring you in Katniss, she's six."

"Oh Gale, come here please," I beckoned him over softly, he fell into my arms "It's going to be okay…shhhh…please believe me that it will be alright, I forgive you. I love you so much."

"I'm so sorry." He wept hysterically in my arms, gripping me like I was going to fade away.

The door opened for the final time and I was dragged out of his arms while he screamed my name, a single tear ran its path down my cheek as he was left behind knowing my fate. After everything that's happened I thought that I would welcome death, but I don't, I don't want to die.

I was led onto a platform and tied to a post, this wasn't a post, it was a stake. I was to be burnt at the stake. I looked across the crowd of people, I was still at home, this was District 12. My mother's horrified tear struck face was the first I spotted. The faces I couldn't spot were Peeta's, Finnick's and Haymitch's. I looked to the sky, a single hawk cawed and the heavens opened. Bringing my mind to that one day when Peeta saved my life. I owe my life to each of the men in my life, and now all their hard work was for nothing as I was about to be the centre piece of a public execution.


	17. Chapter 17

I didn't thrash against the tight ropes, I knew it was no use, my time had come and I had to face my fate. As I watched the hawk circling above my head I shut out the world around me and thought back to the most precious moments of my life: Completing the games with Peeta, realising that we were free from the horrifying arena, together; Sat with Gale on the hill before the reaping, eating the single role of bread that Gale had so kindly provided; that moment in the Quarter Quell where Finnick refused to kill me even if it meant losing his own life. I love each and every one of them in a different way, but how could I choose? I fear that Gale has become angry and hot headed from the war. Peeta's willingness to rip my throat out was becoming less and less every day but eventually he will blow again. Finnick seems fragile and doesn't care about life at all anymore. If I am saved today then I will be forced to make a decision.

Through all of my daydreaming I had failed to realise what was going on around me. My ropes were free at my feet and I was stood in the middle of the flames unmoving. I heard Gale screaming for me to get out of the fire. Then strong arms were around me lifting me and carrying me out of the flames. Finnick barged through the crowd and headed straight for the forest, all moved out of his way as the girl on fire who had almost become a girl on fire literally was carried out of the reach of Snow. As soon as we had passed the crowd reformed making it impossible for anyone to follow us.

"Hold on Katniss, hold on." Finnick whispered.

Then I blacked out, again.

I gasped awake.  
>"Finnick!" I screamed as his hand came over my mouth and he pulled me against him.<p>

"Shhhhhh…" he hushed "You need to be quiet, they're certain to be looking for us."

"Where are we?" I looked around the trees we were situated in.

He sighed and rubbed his face over with one palm. "Honestly? I have no idea. I just carried you as far as I could before I had to rest."

We were exiled; there was no way we could ever go back to District 12 now, not as long as Snow ruled. I had finally thought that it was over, I had thought that there was no more the Capitol could possibly do to me, I was wrong. Now I had dragged Finnick into it.

"I know what you're thinking, and don't even bother." He looked me dead in the face "I'm not leaving you."

His eyes bored into mine, I took in his face, smudges of ash clung to his face from the dried sweat.

"I've never felt so much fear as I did watching you in that fire. Your eyes were lifeless looking to the sky at nothing. You showed the people you had truly given up on life." He screwed his eyes up and I reached for him "I was so frightened for you that I dived into the flames and the heat was unbearable, I just had to…"

This time I shushed him and cradled his head to my chest tightly, his overgrown hair under my chin.

"Please stop." I asked quietly "We're here now and I'm so glad that you saved me Fin because I really didn't want to die, I'm not ready."

We led there in the grass until the sun began to lower.

"Come on, "I said getting to my feet "The best time for us to move is during the night, no lights to give us away. They will be looking for us during the day but they'll think it a pointless effort during the night."

I held out my hand for Finnick and he took it, he picked up the sack he had prepared for our escape and began to walk, not letting go of my hand. We walked for miles, and the forest never seemed to end, I made a carving in every few trees we passed, something discrete that the Capitol would not pick up on but something that would tell us if we were going in circles.

"I'm sorry I didn't have time to pick up your bow," spoke Finnick.

I looked up and smiled "Don't worry I can make one, we'll find a way to get food."

I felt exhausted and decided to sit for a while only to find that my legs didn't want to respond and I was left a sitting duck.

Finnick rose and waited patiently for me to get up which I could not. He looked at me sympathetically and said that I'd had enough for one day and that we should set up camp here. I think that Finnick is the only person that I can show weakness to, because he doesn't have any expectations of me. I watched as he busily set up a small camp with a green tent which would camouflage into the grass. He set up a camp fire under a dense cluster of trees to block out the glow and picked me up and set me on the blanket sitting himself down next to me. He poked at the fire with a large stick and put his other arm around my shoulders. I leant into him, he felt so warm and good. With him at this very moment I felt like the world had stopped being my enemy and that the only person who actually mattered was him.

I was falling in love with the boy with the rope.


	18. Chapter 18

**Sorry but I've changed the ending of this chapter so if you've already read it then just skip to the end! Don't forget to review to keep me on it! Thanks!**

I snapping twig woke me from my sleep, I lifted my head off Finnick's chest and carefully stepped outside. Snow had fallen and the ground had a crisp white sheet laid over it. I pulled the knife out of the back of my pants and followed the foot markings in the snow. I was in only a long shirt and my undershorts, the snow was freezing cold against my feet, there was no sound at all except the light crunch I made as I walked. The footprints led me to a rock, and sat atop of the rock was Gale, his back was facing me and he made no move to turn around.

"I'm so sorry Catnip" he whispered.

He stood and turned towards me, his face an unhealthy grey, his eyes rimmed red from no sleep and tears. I ran to him with my heart open, and embraced him as close and as tight as I could. The tears came from his eyes and he didn't return my hug.

"Please," I pleaded "Please Gale, come back to me."

Slowly his arms encircled me and held me close. His weeping ended and we were left sat in the snow in each other's arms.

I forgive Gale for everything he did; I forgive him because he did it to save his family. His family, where are his family?

"Where are your family Gale?"

He looked at me and shook his head, sorrow swimming in his eyes.'

"I don't know Catnip, all I know is that Haymitch grabbed me and told me to run in your direction, that you'd leave a trail behind you, he told me that they'd be fine and that I needed to find you. He said you'd forgive me but we need to talk about something that's been going on with you." He looked hurt "Are you with Odair, please just tell me, I don't want any more lies."

I pulled away and stared at him in shock, I didn't know whether to end things right now with Gale and I, but I couldn't be taking abuse for keeping secrets from the one person that has lied more than any of us.

"Gale…are you actually being serious? You want to lecture me on telling lies?" he hung his head "Everything you've said from the moment you returned has been a lie! Finnick said that it was a bit suspicious that the one day I go out hunting I get jumped then run into you. Like you'd be able to find me that forest is huge."

He stood and squared up to me "I told you you'd been put next to the hanging tree as a message! This hasn't been a lie Katniss, I love you, I thought I could do it but I couldn't! As soon as you were in my arms again I wanted to scream at you to run, but I couldn't let you go not with my family at risk!"

He had hold of both my arms now in a tight grip that was verging on painful. I couldn't go back to this man, his eyes were full of anger and revenge. This was all my fault, when did Gale lose his life? He used to be so optimistic and happy, as happy as you could be, but not now, now all he saw was darkness, and I couldn't be his light.

I stepped away from him.

"I'm not good for you anymore Gale," tears started to run down my face "The only thing we both see is darkness, we both need someone to help us see the light in this world."

He shook his head in horror, "No, please Katniss, I need you more than anything in this world, you're like the sun after months of cloud cover."

"It's not just for you, but for me too." I sighed and looked back in the direction of the tent.

He followed my gaze. "It's him isn't it? He's your sun." he looked down at the ground the picked up my hand and planted a single kiss on it. "I'll always love you Katniss Everdeen."

"I'm sorry Gale…" I whispered.

He smiled sadly "I'll wait, like you waited for me," and with that he walked out of my life.


End file.
